Day 4

I never realized how food is in such control of my head. Today is day 4 of my pre op diet (5 lbs down) and my first day at work while on thi diet. (Really tough to be around everyone else and drunk nothing but protien shakes, jello and soup) it was a Monday so I was  super busy which helped keep my mind off food. But after work I had to go to the grocery store for soups and diet stuff. Driving there I passed the Carls Jr., the smell of flame broiled burgers was intoxicating.... Then I parked and could see the Little Cesar's dude dancing in the street with a sign that said "Hot & Ready"..... I just thought about those buttery crazy breads!!!  Then I go inside Rayles and I smell the Chineese Hot Wok and see the beautiful pastry sand fresh bake bread.... (This is gonna be hard I think to myself) but I walk past it all, stomach grumbling, head dizzy from lack of food.  I find some miso soup and some Dannon Light n Fit Greek Yogurt.  I also find some fresh asparagus...   I leave feeling like my glass is half empty... 

I just never realized what a big part food played in my life.. It's everywhere!!!! I can see it, smell it and feel it..  

Day 4 is almost over and as I sit her and eat plain broccoli and a protien shake I have to remember one thing. I LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO OBTAIN HEALTH!

Day 2 Pre Op

So day 2, 3 lbs down (probly just water) and thi is my approved breakfast. 1/4 Cup Cream of wheat with a splash of unsweetened Almond Milk and a packet of Splenda. 8oz of Chocolate Cornerstone Protein Mix with Unsweetened Almond Milk. I cup of green tea an my chewable bariatric advantage multivitamin. 

Preop Diet

So my preop diet consists of a 2 week liquid diet. They like you to do this to detox your body an shrink your liver. Shrinking your liver is important because it naked surgery easier as it lowers the fat content. 

I can have 4 Cornerstone protein shakes a day (using non sweetened almond milk)

Sugar free jello and pudding and popcycles, cream of wheat, blended soups and veggies are a free for all. I have been doing Premier Protein for weeks and I love it, however Dr. Eslami wants you to buy his at least for the first month. The Cornerstone tasted like such crap I'm thinking. "How the hell am I gonna choke these puppies down for the next month?!"  Well I figured it out... Add a banana and a packet of Splenda; all good!!! 

For my first day I've been doing pretty well. When in hungry I eat. I just eat what's allowed. Water keeps me feeling full. Now it's late and my stomach is growling so in gonna sleep it off. 

Goodnight!

The Journey Begins

So I decided to go to a bariatric Seminar after my sister in law having such success with her Gastric Bypass Surgery. She has been overweight all her life too so we really know how the other is feeling. 

In September 2013 I decided I was going to get healthy. I quit smoking in November 22, 2013 because surgeons will not do the surgery on smokers. Smoking actually slows healing and causes complications. So I quit.... 

January 2014 I met Dr. Eslami at Slimlife Solutions in South Sacramento. I went to his seminar, support group, nutrition class and had my initial consultation. He told me all the things I would need to do pre op to prepare for surgery and my head was spinning when I left the office. In the next few months I would have: an EKG, Chest X-ray, Endoscopy, Blood Work, Psych Evaluation, Pap Smear, Pelvic Ultrasound, another seminar with my husband, and another panel of bloodwork. 

By April 2014 I had done all my pre op testing and was healthier than expected! I did have a small hernia and inflammation of the Stomach lining but that's probably caused by long time use of NSAIDs... (Which I will never take again) I got the call in April 8th that my insurance had approved the surgery and I would be to see Dr. Eslami in April 24th for my Preop Visit and surgery was scheduled for May 7th!!! Am I dreaming? Was this really happening? I'm excited and scared and nervous and happy an sad and emotional all at the same time.... 

Ron (my husband) came with me yesterday to my preop appointment and met my surgeon and was there for me in any way I needed him. My Dr. Told me to start my 2 week liquid preop diet now and gave me my Protien shakes and multi vitamins and told me he'd see me the day of surgery! 

After months of anticipation, doubt and excitement I am ready!!!! I have done more research than most people do in this. (I decided to have the Sleeve Gastrectomy by the way) I have watched live surgery videos. I am part of an online support group and I have several friends who have had this done who are rooting me on! I am ready to be healthy, get off my meds for high BP and Cholesterol and stop taking pain pills for my sore joints and have more energy to do the things I want to do! I'm doing this for me and my health and like everything else in my life I won't give up. 

The Straw

After a childhood of body issues and 13 years of marriage and two beautiful children I finally tipped the scales at a whopping 250 lbs.. Disgusting I know.... But being happy with my husband and growing two humans and me getting to the point where I no longer gave a fuck what anyone thought of me I just didn't care anymore. I honestly felt beautiful and was content with what and who I was. I had broken through the chains that confined me which were masked as other peoples opinions. They say opinions are like assholes; well that's true in more ways than one. Lol!!!  

My husband has saved me.. Saved me from myself... He has made me believe I am beautiful every day for 13 years. He has given me the self esteem I so desperately needed. He loves me unconditionally, every single aspect of me. He has shown me that everything I was ever told about men and what they want in a woman is just not true. 

As loved as I am and as confident as I am, the straw that broke the camels back was a visit to my doctor in the fall of 2011. I was 238 lbs and had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, joint pain and planters faciitis.. At only 34 that was a problem... My daddy died in June of 2009 way to early.. He was only 63 and had high BP, Cholesterol, diabetes, Congestive Heart Failure, Coronary Artery Disease  and had a heart attack (one of many) that would be his last... 

I felt jipped, robbed I my father and pissed at him for not taking care of himself knowing I needed him; we all needed him. I thought how selfish he was and was extremely sad and angry...That was the straw that broke the camels back...

I needed to loose weigh and a lot of it. All the hundreds of diets I had been on through the years were not working and I needed a long term tool that would help me get healthy. So I started looking into Weight Loss Surgery. 

Fat Daddy

Well what can I say.. I was born a fat girl. I was never one of those really big kids you see on Maury Povich but I was always very cherubial. I was almost 10 lbs when I was born and I had so many rolls I quickly adopted the Nick name, "Michelin tire baby". I was later called Fat Daddy and Stephanie Marie Hamburger Haro... Sad I know.. What my parents thought was cute and harmless turned into a lifetime of body image issues. 

I was overweight a majority of my life and it bothered me that I did not look like the Guess girl in my Teen Magazines. My Father was overweight but that's cause of lifestyle. He is Mexican and grew up on Lard and Mantacia, (butter) I remember him eating beans with mayo in them... Bleh!!!

 But I grew up in the 80s... Health was Jane Fonda and Olivia Newton Johns Video Physical was a huge hit! But we ate Homerun pies from the local Hostess Bakery, full flavored Pepsi out of glass bottles and Kool Aid. My mom cooked home Cooked meals so it's not like we had a lot of fast food. Plus I was one of 5 kids so it was a luxery to go out and eat. 

Mom was always on some diet. Weight Watchers, Nutri System, Slim Fast you name it. She is one of three sisters and it was like there was always a competition with their appearance. All three of those women were what I looked up to and I quickly came to the conclusion that this is how women act. It's normal to talk bad about your body and go on crazy diets to fit into society's perception of beauty. This was a lot of pressure that carried into my teen years. 

I was caught shoplifting Dexatrim at 13 years old. I just wanted to be thin and noticed.. I figured if I was thin I would stop hearing whispers from females in my family about "the pre pubescent pudge" and other such comments that made me feel less than. Or how everyone always said how skinny and beautiful my little sister was and how she was going to be a model.  I thought, "fuck! Well why breathe?!"

I started to become anorexic and bulemic at 16. I'd binge and purge and some days I would not eat at all. I started taking drugs like speed cause I noticed it was an appetite supessent. By the time I was 17 I was the lowest weight I have ever been in my life, 118 lbs. at 5'4" I was lookin pretty thin! It was awesome! Weird thing.... When I looked in the mirror I still looked fat....

It always seemed like no matter what I did. I was never good enough.